Reticent Mental Property

FEED My MIND: Adventure. Learn. Live. Write.

Pain, Kissing, Love, Duty…

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I can’t go back to the beginning because nothing in the past is ever the full truth.  When I look back from this place where I am now, in the middle of so much certainty,  I clearly remember being very focused on pain- an uncommon kind of pain.

You know. The kind of pain where you aren’t even aware it exists until someone asks a question that shifts the paradigm of the existence you’ve lived for the last decade.

It’s an awareness kind of pain.

It’s the kind of pain that exists with a story.

It’s the kind you remember when you are old.  And it turns you into the kind of person who has a history, has character, has lessons.  

It’s the kind that gives you the opportunity to share an honest answer when some young thing interviews you and you are that old woman who says with a fist raised, Yes! I admit I have regrets.

And the first regret is that you didn’t realize you needed that pain when you were cow-eyed and all swooning to the traditions of walking down the aisle, when you had visions of making babies who would carry your husband’s name into the future.

You know, the kind of pain that wakes you up and makes you start living in the present, for the present, before time slips away.   

.

She read it again and changed the word Pain to Kissing…. then to Love…then to Duty…then to…

#for Reticent Mental Property. 

13 comments on “Pain, Kissing, Love, Duty…

  1. dievca
    September 3, 2014

    Ahh – Ret. You’ve gotten it perfectly right. Amazing. XO

    Like

  2. thruthemist
    September 3, 2014

    Dear Ret

    It slips away and all that is left is regrets, pain, the wondering why. There are, there has to be times when pain is not the answer. I wish I knew, I want a better ending.
    Much love…mist

    Like

  3. the muscleheaded blog
    September 3, 2014

    Wow. I love it. Those words do seem almost interchangeable , don’t they? 🙂

    Like

    • Reticent Mental Property
      September 3, 2014

      I think so. It all depends on how we approach situations, yes? And sometimes, how we wish we had approached situations…

      Liked by 1 person

      • the muscleheaded blog
        September 4, 2014

        I think this post was where I started thinking about the whole separating emotion thing …..

        Like

        • Reticent Mental Property
          September 4, 2014

          Ah. Separating sex and emotions, depending on which emotions, might similarly determine what kind of sex a couple is having…

          Like

          • the muscleheaded blog
            September 4, 2014

            Tell me more… sounds very interesting. :->

            Like

            • Reticent Mental Property
              September 4, 2014

              You’re just saying that so you can ask another complicated question. And I very much like that. Okay, I’m game. What kind of sex can be “had” you ask? (very bad grammar on my part, but you’ll excuse that won’t you?) How about meaningless? how about dutiful? what kind of sex do prostitutes have? Sex is not love making. Nor does it always have to be? Oh, whoops. I’ve turned the tables on you.

              Like

              • the muscleheaded blog
                September 4, 2014

                So, how are the differences in the two explained?

                Is sex the physical act with no emotions, and love-making with– in which, yes, sex can be and is separated from emotion….

                Or does ‘sex’ encompass both concepts, and is as much causative in creating emotions as other romantic activities ?

                Like

              • the muscleheaded blog
                September 4, 2014

                Oh, and it worries me a bit you understand my Socratic method.

                Like

  4. Reticent Mental Property
    September 4, 2014

    ohhhh, C. This blog is not called Reticent Mental Property for nothing… we will take this up tomorrow…with coffee in hand. Deal?

    Like

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This entry was posted on September 3, 2014 by in Uncategorized.
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