Unexpected

Who knew.

Going through an unplanned but necessary adjustment to my world shows stark unknown revelations . Perhaps they are similar to those leaving a life behind. Perhaps others carry the same emotional connections to routines into the next chapter?

  • The frequent need to clarify my location.  Meet me at my place. No, MY place.
  • Comfortable digits. I take my rings off at night I find the one I’ve put on my ring finger is still on in the morning but it is no longer a diamond wedding band.
  • Loads of laundry are small, infrequent and require quarters
  • Time to vote. Haven’t registered in time in the new voting district.
  • I didn’t understand how anyone could leave her dog behind.
  • Everything adds up. I’m talking dollars, lack of sleep, excuses, time to communicate well, kindness.
  • Locks on doors are necessary, checked often, rattle in the night waking me with a panic I thought I left behind.
  • 2% of high school sweethearts make it ’til death do us part. People are threatened by my change in status; they feel the loss of the fairytale. I comfort them.
  • I waver on my path. I fall down. I cry as much as I laugh. I have defined myself as a wife- his wife. I want to reject him. But I feel empathy not hatred.
  • People feel the need to choose sides
  • In times when two people are going through a private hell, his family feels taking sides against me is the way to show support.
  • I plan to do divorce better than my parents.
  • I recognize how often I look over my shoulder.
  • Various and sundry items makes a long list.
  • Must give credit to friends and loved ones who give me time and more love instead of less.
  • It’s ok to be happy, to dance, to feel, to laugh, to believe in the power of one day at a time.
  • Nap. Again.
  • Buy new lingerie.

.

It wasn’t the plan she planned and the unplanning inspired extensive patience.

#for Reticent Mental Property. March 27, 2016. Images courtesy of the web.

7 thoughts on “Unexpected

  1. 😦 I hope you will have more days ahead of you with many smiles, laughs and dancing. I’ve heard that it’s easier to get married than it is to get divorced… I believe it..you have a lot of new things, a new life to make into a new normal.
    I also hope you stay safe.. and that their isn’t more pain inflicted during this.
    (One of my aunts is going through this, and she’s become a stronger woman. She’s tougher, fearless and happier now than ever before). I wish the same for you, that you will be happier and many good things to come to you asap.
    Sending you many smiles Ret!

    Liked by 1 person

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