In Russia, there is something called a “starter marriage” It’s the one with the kids, the dog, the white picket fences. The one with jobs, and career, and home purchasing. The one with beautiful romantic ideas of white dresses, and forevers.
Then there’s the “real marriage” the one that isn’t about getting places but enjoying where you are.at.that.moment. It’s full of lovemaking, wisdom, tolerance, and flaws. It’s romantic. It’s traditional- sometimes- and it is peaceful and loving, too.
Both are valid, necessary, wonderful, learning, loving times. There’s a time for each- if needed. Rare is the “forever, til death do us part” but that is the ideal…we are raised to want this, and it is admirable if achieved.
But the true beauty of marriage is the inspiration it provides.
We all want to stand out, be amazing– only 2 percent of high school sweethearts stay together for a lifetime– human as we are, we aspire for the 2%. And that is a lovely, although not likely achievable, but still a lovely guide to find the soulmate type of connection we dream of.
And when those first loves turn into real loves, be open to seeing the goodness of change.
And when first loves are left behind, be open to seeing that human companionship at any level may be better for some than marriage ever was.
She was learning to love. again. And it was breathtaking.