Move over, move out.

20s16

What the fuck are you up to woman? 

I don’t know. I reject Paulo Coelho. I avoid the self-help aisle, believe it might be infested with cockroaches. I do not want to be on some damn journey.  I just want to be solid and sure like I have been in the past.

Of course, you do like security. Like to be in the know. 

Yes, I do. I’m a thinker, a student, a practical woman. Jeezus

Well, there are times in our lives when we all make changes. This is that time? for you? 

I don’t know. What good do changes do if you choose the same choices the next time you have the chance? What have I learned? How many times will I take care of someone else at the expense of myself?

You are a caretaker. Why do you deny yourself this? 

Because my job is not to be everyone’s everything.

Why won’t you let anyone love you? 

Why doesn’t everyone stop loving me? I just want to love me. First.  I want to love myself. I want to be selfish and take care of myself. Just me. Just Me.

.

Give her some goddamned room. 

#for Reticent Mental Property. Images courtesy of the web.

 

 

 

7 thoughts on “Move over, move out.

    • Thanks Martay. Gut feel is accurate, those instincts solid. Value of self is strong. Challenges lie in construction of kind but firm boundaries against those who recognize this value and go for ownership of the woman’s future, seek the sharing of her space, her body, her heart, her time. The melding IS a beautiful thing, the want to couple with a partner is attractive and, the longing for the right woman on which to lay claim is instinctual. Those men have met and attempted to tether. And just as strong is the woman’s need to recline, to rest, to create order in her heart, mind, body and world. Patience. Simple patience is what she asks. But against the passing of time, the press of the partner to capture someone to grow old with; all grate against her being. She is smothered, crushed, aggressively defensive, in agony for causing pain when she is only asking for what she needs, knowing she should have recognized it earlier- once again, she has been the caretaker, a terribly poor caretaker it is revealed, of someone else’s dreams and desires.

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