Can’t be every man’s wanna be


It’s been a few years of denial.

I’ve tried to go home, to fit in, to fix me.

But what I’ve been denying is my person- she knows what she wants, why she breathes.

I’m a mother. Above all things, I claim the right to be me – I’m know I am THE Mother.

(No, not the Mother Fucker. I’m The Mother. And forever will be. )

I am woman, on top of all else I can be, I am Woman. I am for speaking up, speaking out, speaking free.

I am slowly realizing what I want is to be ME. And this woman knows who she wants to lie close to, curled up, chin resting on chest, body cradled into a pile of what puppies must feel.

Lover, my laughter, my life: find me.


for Reticent Mental Property, images courtesy of the web. January 31, 2018.





Met a mom and her son today. He’s autism spectrum. She’s not.

I enjoyed her. She has a large life carved from necessity, a life partner who leaves her home with the resources.  Hers is a heart beating in balance, paying forward, giving time, using skills only mothers of this kind have earned.

It’s the mothering that comes through.

It cannot be helped.

I shared a few texts with my friend who battles the bottle. She’s the sweetest woman, the one who finds laughter in every failing, the person who encourages everyone around her with issues far greater than hers. She’s a stoic soul. A heart that can’t stop beating for those who have less. She is a respite volunteer, a dog rescue foster, a social worker by day, who knows all because she’s put her time in the AA pew.

There’s bravery out there.

It cannot be stopped.

Exchanged words and a glass of red with a woman, scorned, scarred, hurt, so blue. She put on a happy face for my interruption and acted strong, one foot in front of the other, measured paces on her path to renewal. She’s a little thing with a large chip on her shoulder. She’s a damsel in distress. She’s a princess waiting for the slipper. A woman who gets most what she fears; what we won’t wish for almost always comes true.

There’s a victim on every corner.

Pick your poison when you choose what you choose.


People tell her things; they cannot stop themselves. 

#for Reticent Mental Property. September 14, 2017. Images courtesy of the web.

Kaepernick is not playing around

He is kneeling. He is using peaceful protest. He is making the $$$$ of those leagues feel a little discomfort; discomfort which may inspire positive change. He isn’t sitting. He isn’t raising a fist or a baton. He is taking a knee, like we do when an injury has occurred, to respectfully acknowledge pain. Think bigger people, apply this off the field, across a nation, beyond the comfort of your television entertainment. His action is precisely why this flag flies. His not playing is apparently a price he is willing to pay.


Stand on Principle, or Kneel.

#for Reticent Mental Property. August 16, 2017



There’s no time for wasting


Lie back, settle in the pillows, covered in the sheet, the sweat from lovemaking, the sheen of desire.

Feel your clock ticking, deny it exists, renew the fervor for conquering fears. Look into your lover’s eyes and know that today, this moment, the present is all there is. Let go of the past, the future. Be in the the now.

Know yourself, if you are able. Seek your centered core, the purpose of your existence, the heart of your heart. Is it not here? Do you not feel it beating inside your chest? Perhaps you are not yet awakened to its sound. This will come, in time, if you are willing.

You have followed the proscribed path. You have handled the constant distractions. You have believed in tradition, perseverance and goodness. Yet you feel lost. You are loved but only when you follow expectations. Indeed, you leave and you are walled off. Proof you never really belonged at all. How did you not see this?

Feel your way through the darkness. You have the light of your mind to guide you. You have the staff of truth to thrust into the ground as you seek the path of content. You do not trust your own steps on the rocky path, the soles of your shoes they are slick, they are worn. You carry on, forward, marching toward your heart’s spoken ease. There is only rest and love-making to embrace your limbs. Yet you are hesitant, resistant, conformed.

Free yourself from your mind. Be open to your loins. Be unencumbered by the restrictions of form.


Go. Do. BE. Embrace your honest, most authentic self. 

#for Reticent Mental Property. Images courtesy of the web.



Chains as a Symbol of Freedom


$100 Million in box office debut means something.  The rise of Wonder Woman does not surprise most women. The story, rooted in feminism,  the movie directed by a female, is enjoying the perfect storm given the country’s feminist uprising against the current president and the administration’s proposals.

My daughters are reluctant to see it; perhaps they feel the WW uniform is designed for male viewers rather than for athleticism? Perhaps they feel superheroes are only men and women simply play sidekicks?

Perhaps I have taught them too well.

Our children are in the middle of history making moments. They may not realize it. But most moms do. 


#for Reticent Mental Property. Images courtesy of the web.






where is her head, he wonders.

where is her loyalty, he wonders.

where is her lover, he wonders (and stands tall)

where is her mind tonight?

is she alright?

is she messing with everyone to the Left and the Right of her fucked. up. life.

She’s been a good girl.. She’s been so strong, She’s got a crazy feeling, she’s been led down.the wrong path. again.

She’s got a sense of pride, she doesn’t want to hide, she’s got a shot to go big.

She’s in the middle of  a dream for a couple of children, those wanna-be-men. sigh.

She’s got a job to do, a duty

to fulfill.

She’s got a semblance of pride. 

#for Reticent Mental Property. images courtesy of the web.